It is easy to see the good in others when you look for it!
The same way, regular Physical exercise improves your body, regular mental exercise improves how you see and engage your world and the people and places within it. The process is amazingly simple. It just takes is 11 minutes every day: Find a comfortable and peaceful place, free of and from distractions. (If needed, get the children occupied, or at a friend’s house or a baby sitter’s house). If you are at work, find a stress free area that you can use, but it is best to do this outside of work for best results. If you love the outdoors, that is one of the best places to do this, weather pending of course.
Once you have found the perfect spot, prepare it so you can relax quickly and easily. Possibly adorn it with candles, incense, and light, quiet, background music. Sit in a comfortable position, ether on a chair, a cushion, or a nice piece of Earth you find enjoyable. Place your hands in front of you, palms facing a few inches apart, slightly cupped, and a thumbs distance from the centre of your chest, directly in line with your heart. Close your eyes and visualize the person you love, cradled inside the space between your hands. Think of them at their happiest, see them bathed in rays of sunlight, and see them at their very best. Do this for 11 minutes, every day. It helps if you do this at the same time of day, every day. It also helps if you have some kind of reminder system in place too. One of the all-time best reminder systems is to get your spouse doing this too, at the same time as you, but in another area than yours. (Under a different tree, or in a different room of the house for example). That way, when one forgets, the other is more likely to remember and remind the other. Do this for 40 days. If you miss a day, start over at day one.
Here is an example: Sit down as explained above, and think about how your spouse makes you happy. Picture her or him on a boat or peacefully asleep or laughing with his or her face light up with joy. Picture your spouse happy and content. Also picture your spouse happily completing chores, but do not judge this vision.
Most likely, you had a good marriage to start with, but as the years went by, the negative outlook increased, but with this meditation exorcize, the small traces of impatience or judgment you may have brought to your relationship will be replaced with positive patience and nonjudgmental thoughts. Soon, you will no longer care about the small, insignificant negative details that currently drive you crazy and, you will have a heightened sense of joy when you see your spouse after work. Repeatedly picture your spouse at their best, and soon you will respond to that best self accordingly. Remember how grateful you were to be married to your spouse in the beginning and carry that forward to your present. Be grateful you even know that person. The more goodness you see the more goodness they will show you in turn.
It takes 40 days to request a change within yourself, 80 days to form a new pattern, and 120 days to seal your intention, and make it a subconscious habit. It is easy enough to find fault with people, but it is just as easy to see their radiance if you look for it. You may not change your spouse, but you will change yourself for the better, and in doing that, your eyes will be open to what had been there all along.
Here is another related exorcize once the above has been set as an unconscious habit: Meditate on your own greatness for 11 minutes a day for 120 days. You WILL be amazed with yourself, guaranteed!
Once you have completed both above meditations, then pick a project, or habit you would like to achieve or change, and meditate on that. You soon will be able to find ways to achieve any goal you set your sights to. It will open your mind to new unlimited possibilities, and ways to achieve them. You must realize nothing is accomplished without action. Meditation is not just sitting, doing nothing. It is preparing yourself for success. Preparation is action!
